


Confessions

by thedragonbot



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: I think not, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Sex, and saren decides to treat him, biotic, but just in case, can a character be ooc if there's little content about them?, fluff too, lots of smut, nihlus is stressed, slightly OOC, small angst, to some nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 03:48:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedragonbot/pseuds/thedragonbot
Summary: Nihlus is frustrated while trying to collect intel, and Saren has something important to tell Nihlus. What ensues is a rollercoaster of emotions and smut.





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kuraiummei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuraiummei/gifts).



> My Holiday Harbinger gift for Kuraiummei! I know I'm late, and I'm so sorry for that, but real life hit out of nowhere, blah blah blah, that's not important.  
> What is important, however, is this here story I wrote! A Kryterius story that involves love, hate for work, biotic sex, and early morning pancakes! Or whatever turians eat that are like pancakes!  
> Let me say, though, when I saw you liked Kryterius, I immediately knew exactly what I was going to make, haha!  
> I hope you enjoy the story!

Nihlus Kryik walked into his apartment, rubbing his eyes and exhaling deeply as he strode over to his desk and took a seat. He stayed like that for a few moments, both hands covering his eyes, before he booted up his computer system and began to get to work.

This mission that he had decided to pursue was seriously kicking his ass. Hard. He had very little to go on, trying to track this cartel that was basically unknown except for a name - Ezel. The Ezel cartel had been supplying every major hub in the galaxy - Illium, the Citadel, Omega, Palaven, Earth and even Sur’Kesh - with drugs, slaves, and building a criminal presence. They weren’t allied with any of the major gangs, groups or syndicates. They simply helped the dangerous ‘activities’ along, and made a sizable profit.

Nihlus was a more physical and tactical turian. He liked to see the battlefield, weigh his options, make a plan and execute it. It made sense to him, and it was easier to focus on. It also didn’t help that he was damn good at it. But this mission was different. He was playing a dangerous game of digital cat and mouse, and everything about his task ahead of him was based in guesswork. A very dangerous game for anyone, and it was taking a toll on Nihlus. He had very little sleep for the entire week and what very little time he did spend out of the apartment, he was also researching and trying every frequency, every network and every signal he could find.

Nihlus figured that once he triangulated and tracked down the source of a cryptic message from a dealer named B, he would be able to progress from there, even resulting in the downfall of this syndicate. Easy. Or so he thought.

Not even 5 minutes into his research, a cough made him snap his head towards the kitchen doorway, his hand instinctively reaching for his weapon in his holster.

“Relax, it’s just me.” Saren Arterius was leaning in the doorway, his usual piercing gaze and standard ‘No fun allowed’ look staring at him, and he was dressed in a black and grey outfit, complete with a cape that covered half of his body. Nihlus did admire the energy that Saren gave off: ‘Don’t fuck with me.’ However, Nihlus wasn’t in any good mood, so he stared at Saren before holstering his weapon and returning to his work.

“What, not even a ‘hi?’” Saren cracked a small smile, to which Nihlus gave Saren his signature _‘_ not in the mood _’_ look and went back to his work. Saren frowned and walked to the desk, pulling up a chair and sitting next to Nihlus. He didn’t say anything, but rather watched Nihlus work. This wasn’t like Nihlus, being reserved and the opposite of his usual chatty self. He was stressed out, and Saren could easily see whatever he was working on was to blame.

“What are you working on?” Nihlus didn’t answer for a moment. He turned his gaze slowly and said, “Trying to gather intel. Don’t bother me.” Then, he went back to his work. Saren sighed deeply.

It had been a rather long month for Saren. To start things off, he and Nihlus had a little confrontation, and Saren decided to spend some time ‘cleansing’ the galaxy of the notorius gangs that had taken up residence in the Terminus Systems. As it turned out, there had been an influx of new members, and crime was even more rampant than ever, so Saren had been gone for a close to a month. There were some good moments, some bad moments, and many moments that he honestly didn’t care about. He had just returned hours before, exhausted, grumpy, and not overly thrilled at the thought of speaking to diplomats, bureaucrats and the Council for hours on end. However, there was one thing he was more than excited to see.

Nihlus Kryik had been first his student, then his protege, and now, his lover. The two had been in a sort of relationship for almost a year now, a relationship of mutual respect, which turned to a binding friendship, which quickly turned to a more sexual one, without venturing into boundaries that Saren was not keen on venturing into. Nihlus understood, and the two were able to keep their relationship underwraps and under the sheets. As the spirits would have it, however, Saren could feel himself falling for Nihlus, more and more each day. The last month especially had been hard on him. He missed Nihlus, at first in the bed, but soon it was the quip he would throw in every now and then, the food that he picked up from a junky seller on the edge of the galaxy and _always_ managed to make it delicious. So, Saren decided he was going to break the rules of the relationship he had set up.

He wanted to talk to Nihlus, about their meeting before Saren left, and about how he felt. But now didn’t seem like a good time - his brow was furrowed, his back, shoulders and neck tensed up, and he smelt like a varren that rolled around in a waste pit on Tuchanka.

“Nihlus.” No response, except for Nihlus’ subharmonics acting up in anger after another error message flickered across his screen.

“Nihlus.” Saren spoke louder, this time moving his hand over Nihlus’. Nihlus glanced at the hand on his own before looking at Saren in the eyes, and Saren could see an internal conflict going on behind the emerald eyes he had admired from the first time they met. They had also been affected by Nihlus’ stress; they seemed almost muted.

“Saren, I’m glad you’re here, I really am,” Nihlus moved his hand from under Saren’s and returned his gaze to the screens in front of him. “But I have work to do, and it needs to get done. So, please, I’ll be with you soon, OK? Just let me finish.” Nihlus hesitated a moment before continuing to type and use the system again.

Saren didn’t get up immediately, just continuing to look at Nihlus, both proud and annoyed of how responsible he had helped Nihlus become. When he finally did get up, he walked behind Nihlus and gently squeezed at one of Nihlus’ neck plates as he passed by. Many turians got massages at that same spot, and Nihlus was no exception. Nihlus exhaled sharply, his fingers stopping their typing for a moment. Saren smiled and backtracked, his hands traveling and alternating between Nihlus’ shoulders and neck plates, squeezing, caressing, and massaging. Nihlus grunted, and leaned back, his eyes starting to close.Saren kept at this for a few moments, with Nihlus slowly ceasing his work to relax in Saren’s hands massaging him. “Mmm… that feels… good….” Nihlus groaned, smiling happily.

Until his eyes shot open.

“Hey! Stop that!” Saren jumped at the sudden shift in Nihlus’ mood, and Nihlus turned to him, his brow plates almost knitting together. “Saren, I’ve been trying to find intel on these bastards for the past week. I’ve put a lot of time into this, and I’m so close, I can feel it. So, could you _please,_ ” Nihlus emphasized this word with a drop in his subharmonics, ”Stop distracting me? I promise we can do whatever you want to do later, just not right now, OK?” Nihlus looked up at Saren, waiting for a response, a retort or something similar that Saren said or did. Instead, Saren said and did nothing. Nihlus waited another moment before turning back around, and, hearing Saren walk away, sighed and kept working. The massaging had stirred Nihlus up a lot more than he meant to, and he tried to adjust himself to hide his arousal, willing his plates to stop parting.

Saren simply walked back to the kitchen, glancing back at Nihlus for a moment. He continued to work on his intel, not giving Saren any acknowledgement that he was there. Saren sighed and walked away from the doorway, as Nihlus gave a quick glance. Seeing Saren absent, he returned to his screen.

* * *

 

Two hours had passed, in which Saren had decided to take a nap to try and pass the time, which ended up as well as he thought it would; he was browsing reports, eating food, and calling out to check in on Nihlus every now and then. Nihlus, meanwhile, was getting more and more stressed by the minute, with every failure eliciting a hard sigh, every ‘error’  turned to a groan, and every so often a quiet “fuck” stuck to the silence.

At the end of the two hours, however, Nihlus got up quickly and swore. This startled Saren enough to spill his coffee on himself, which caused him to curse as well.

“Fuck! Nihlus, what’s… wrong?” He looked up, his coffee stained clothes quickly forgotten. Nihlus looked like he was on the brink of an emotional or mental breakdown. Or both. He was pacing in a circle, covering his face in his hands, all while cursing under his breath and visibly shaking. Saren got up and walked to Nihlus, hoping to calm him down.

“...can’t find out the fucking name of the fucking dealer, no location, no lead, nothing that I can go on, I can’t fucking do this!” Nihlus’ voice picked up when he saw Saren walking towards him, and he kept his gaze focused on Saren.

“I can’t do this. I’ve been searching for a fucking week and I’ve gotten absolutely nothing. No leads, no witnesses, there aren’t even any fucking bribes! This whole thing is a shitstorm, and I can’t find a damn lead, and I’m losing my fucking mind!” Nihlus was screaming at this point, his hands behind his head as he started breathing heavily in anger. He stormed to the desk, prepared to do something, _anything_ to let his anger out, when he felt Saren grab at his shoulder. He quickly turned and snarled, causing Saren to pull his hand away quickly.

“What the fuck do you want, Saren!?” Nihlus heard the venom in his voice right after he said it, and he looked into Saren’s rather shocked expression. They stared at each other for a moment before Nihlus started sputtering apologies.

“Saren, I-I’m sorry, Saren… I, I really am, I’m just so stressed and I don’t know wha-”

At the moment, Saren reached out and pulled Nihlus into a hug, embracing him tightly. Nihlus certainly wasn’t expecting this, but he certainly needed it, and he returned the uncharacteristically affectionate gesture.

Nihlus drew shaky breaths as the two embraced for a moment, trying to calm himself down while Saren idly rubbed Nihlus’ back. Neither of them said anything, and after the brief moment, Saren pulled up the two chairs and Saren sat down.

“Nihlus, we need to talk. Please, sit.” Nihlus stared at Saren, remaining standing, and his pent up anger and frustration from the past month, since their last talk, started to come rushing in.

“You know, Saren, I really wish you would stop thinking of yourself every time we’re together.” Nihlus tried to keep his voice calm, but he started to shake again, and his subharmonics were starting to waver.

Saren looked confused. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! You know exactly what you were doing!” Nihlus started pacing again, and Saren gave an exasperated sigh.

“Look, I just wanted to see you, Nihlus. And talk, like we always do.”

Nihlus pointed at Saren. “That’s a load of varren shit, and you know it.” Saren was about to speak up, but Nihlus wasn’t finished. “Every time we have our ‘secret’ meetings, it always ends in us fucking because _you_ fucking want it! Every time we spend time together, and all you see me is as a way to get yourself off! And I’m fucking sick of it, OK? I just…” Nihlus breathed in deeply and exhaled again, but his anger was still present. “You always fucking act like you care about me, like we’re more than just friends, but it always stays at that. Just friends. And I don’t fucking know what to do about it! Not since you fucking ran off doing spirits know _what_ after I told you how I felt…”

Saren continued his vain attempts to calm Nihlus down. “I _do_ care, though, Nihlus. Can you please-”

“Then fucking act like it! Why the fuck…” Nihlus stared down Saren now. “Why the fuck are you even caring right now? You didn’t care when I told you I loved you, and that I couldn’t hold those feelings back, you didn’t care when you decided to drop off the radar for a damn month, and you don’t even know what kind of mission I’m on! So why do you keep pretending like you care?!” Nihlus was practically screaming at this point, paring his fangs and flaring his mandibles out.

“I care because…” Saren hesitated, and Nihlus sneered.

“What, can’t find some dumbass excuse to save your-”

“Because I love you, Nihlus.”

Nihlus immediately lost his train of thought, and he stared at Saren incredulously, panting. Finally, he said, “What?”

Saren looked back up at Nihlus. “I… I love you, Nihlus. It took me too long to figure that out. But I do. I love you. I love _you_.” He repeated, more for himself, to make sure he wasn’t imagining this moment, this extremely special moment for the both of them. For himself, especially.

He took another breath. “I haven’t felt this way for a long time, Nihlus, and it scared me when I felt it again. When you… confessed your feelings to me, it just…” Saren looked down. “It all came back to me. And…” He stayed like that for a moment, staring at a spot on the ground as Nihlus looked on, still too shocked for words. Finally, Saren looked up, but there was a different look in his eyes. Rather than the determined and cunning look Saren liked to exhibit, there was a more tender look. Nihlus had never seen this look before. He was looking at Nihlus like he was the most important person in the world to him. That’s when Nihlus fully realized he was being serious.

“When I was gone, all I could think about was you. I couldn’t _stop_ thinking about you, and now that I’m here, I’m the happiest turian on the Citadel, because I’m with you. And right now, that’s all that matters. And I want you to be safe, and healthy, and I want you to be, above all, _happy._ I just… want you to know tha-” Nihlus had quickly enveloped Saren in a tight hug, which Saren returned, albeit a little awkwardly. The two embraced once more for a moment before Nihlus broke off, looking Saren in the eyes again.

“Saren, do you really mean it? I mean, are you-”

Saren didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I want you, Nihlus.”

Nihlus smiled the biggest smile he had smiled in a long time, his neck blushing at the same time, and he looked down. Saren’s hand reached under Nihlus’ chin, raising it back up to eye level.

“Nihlus, I know work is important. You and I both know that. But you also need to know when you’re at your own breaking point. And right now, I’d say you are.” Nihlus opened his mouth to retaliate, but Saren kept going. “Take a break, Nihlus. Relax, just for tonight. We can eat, we can go out, we can do whatever you want to take your mind off things. It’ll do a lot of good for your mood and your psyche.” Nihlus slowly nodded, and then he smirked.

“What if I want to do something with you? Like, oh, I don’t know… _in here_?” Nihlus dropped his voice, his hand cupping Saren’s right mandible.

Saren smiled in response. “We can certainly do that. I promise you that you won’t regret it.” Saren’s voice had dropped deeply, his baritone rumbling through Nihlus’ plates and giving him a shiver. Saren was the only partner he had been with that was able to master the bedroom talk tone. This time was no exception, and Nihlus nodded slowly, feeling himself rather quickly get aroused. Saren smiled.

“Let me, uh, clean myself up first, alright?” Nihlus asked, feeling suddenly very self-conscious about his appearance. Saren smiled at him and let him go, walking to the bed as Nihlus hurried into the bathroom, shutting the door quickly. As soon as he did, he let his subharmonics trill, the way they usually did whenever he got _really_ aroused. And everything about Saren, right now, was enough to push him over. He leaned back against the door, eyes closing, letting his mind clear for a second before walking to the sink.

Nihlus looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, realizing that he looked like a piece of shit. His eyes had lost the emerald shine, looking toned down. They also had this wild look in his eyes, a look of someone deprived of something. Or, in his case, deprived of a message. He felt like that too, and he leaned down to splash some water into his face, trying to clear his head.

_Maybe Saren is right… I need to take a break._

This whole night was turning into something of a dream for Nihlus. The fact that Saren had even said anything to him at all about their rather strange relationship was enough to send Nihlus’ head reeling. And to also say that he loved him? It was almost too much.

Almost.

Nihlus still had a nagging thought in the back of his mind of his current mission. Why would he take a break now? He was getting so close… all he had to do was to find that one… single message… that he had been desperately searching for. It had been a week.

Nihlus walked out of the bathroom, his mind caught up in his current mission, his brow furrowed, and, after walking no more than three feet out, stopped dead in his tracks. His jaw dropped and his subharmonics started to vibrate at a high pitch.

Laying on his bed, draped out in a rather elaborate and _very_ sensual position, lay Saren Arterius, leaning on one elbow and watching Nihlus with a new hunger in his eyes. His white and light grey plating almost shimmered in the dim lights, one leg arched up while the other lay on the bed. His groin plates were also partially opened, and Nihlus’ eyes lingered there for a moment, before traveling up the bare body and meeting Saren’s piercing gaze. His crystal blue eyes stared back, and Nihlus, for the first time, fully realized what Saren confessing his love to him meant.

Nihlus walked towards the bed, all thoughts of his mission left in the bathroom, as he went to join his lover in bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! The rest of the story will be upload shortly, my schedule just doesn't allow for me to finish editing all of it at once!


End file.
